Images from the Wilson and Mann House Family Picnic today

To the staff of The Family Foundation School,

We want to thank you all for everything you did to help our granddaughter turn her life around. She has gone from hopeless depression to happiness and excitement about her present life and her future.

You have developed a system at FFS that, through caring counseling and peer discussions, led our granddaughter to take a realistic look at her own behavior. You guided her in making good choices in all that she did. She gained self-confidence and learned to focus in front of an audience through singing in the choruses and performing on stage in the musical play.

She learned that there were good reasons for all the rules and following them rewarded her with privileges. Because so many people, staff and students, cared about her, she began to care about them. She learned that doing things for others feels good. Following the lead of her sponsor, she found that she liked long distance running. It’s a good stress reliever, and she took pride in running for fund raisers for various causes.

You brought her to trusting in God in all things. You gave her coping skills that will serve her well in working through life’s challenges. She now sees herself as a worthwhile human being who, with God’s help and her own hard work, can find happiness and success. And she is enjoying a restored, loving relationship with her family.

We are so thankful that her mother found FFS and that our daughter WANTED to complete the program. We wish more young people who lives are at risk could experience the FFS program. We pray God will continue to bless all of you and the special work you are doing. You are a blessing to all the young people whose lives you touched.

Thank you,
Tom and Joyce C.

The Family School was the best thing we could have given our son, and our family.  James went into the school a drug user, drinker, all about him, didn’t care about anyone but himself.  The day he left the FFS, he walked out a different young man. The FFS gave James all the tools he has in his bag today.  He said that the FFS gave him so many tools that he knows what he needs to do, to get back on track when faced with some of the decisions he has made.  James has said that the school was a positive thing for him. I would send him again if we had to.  So the FFS keep doing what your doing, you have helped many young man and ladies along with the families of these kids.  Our family would still be lost if it wasn’t for the FFS.  Thank you to all the Staff who give so much of themselves to help others.

Janet C.

Its amazing how much the Family Foundation School shaped the life I am living now. My whole purpose consisted of drugs, alcohol and refusing to see the truth.  Once I walked up those steps of FFS, I had no idea how much my life would change, for the better.  I had an easy stay at the school.  I was full of service and charity.  The staff and other students shaped me into who I am today.  I will never have bonds like I had with my friends there.  The school was based on 100% pure honesty and when I practiced that, my life came into order.  FFS introduced me to techniques I use everyday.  Its hard work but they always say it works if you work it.  But my stay did not end right after I graduated in December.  I carried on a new life with what I learned.

There is not one person to thank for my new found life, but a school full of loving, caring, charitable people that want only the best for every new student that walks in the doors.  To me, it wasn’t a school.  It was a safe haven that nurtured me back to health, and watched over me until I knew for certain how to live on my own.  The respect, patience and love that every staff member has is what makes the change in students possible.  Never once was I ignored or hurt by anyone at the school.  All the consequences and problems that came my way were a result of my own personal actions.  Today I am much more mature and life appreciative.  I value every single day for what its worth.  The Family Foundation School taught me all of this and I am forever grateful.

Georgia P. – Class of 2009

What a blessing!  I said goodbye to the school in late December of 2003 as a graduate.  I had been a student for almost two and a half years. When asked to describe The Family Foundation School by the greater society, I have often used the words “It is the place where I learned how to be a human being.”

Prior to my experience at this school, the wisdom for how to deal with the problems of life came from four primary institutions.  These were peers, family, the public education system, and the media, including television, movies, news and magazines.  Most of my days growing up were spent either with friends, at school, or plugged into my television set, so any wisdom my parents tried to impart had a lot of competition. The voice of society resounded within the depths of my developing mind and its ultimate message was made clear: the message of an unbridled capitalism, a nation fixated with consumption, pleasure and escapism.  The message was that of immediate gratification.

Mother Culture raised me to believe that feeling good in any given moment was the ultimate truth.  I learned a different truth during my time at The Family School.  “To do what I know to be right and true before what I want or feel like doing in any given moment. to the best of my ability.” I was taught that there are such things as universal truths and an objective morality.  I was taught that my emotional reactions to situations are not the whole truth. I was shown that I have a soul, and that my soul needs to be fed just as my physical body needs to be fed.  The spiritual food is honesty, pursuit of a connection with my Higher Power, and treating others as I would like to be treated, one day at a time.

As I marked my five years without drugs and alcohol, above all else, I know sobriety means sanity, something I know I cannot have if I pick up a drug or drink.  I am an addict and alcoholic.  Thank the gods, for my addiction brought me to The Family School where i was given the wisdom to live a sane, fulfilling existence. It has been an honor to come back and pass on that wisdom. I have met and worked with some truly amazing young men and woman.  I will miss them so much!

M. L.

Having worked here before in 2000-2001, I feel as if I was called back here by God. I feel so comfortable working here, I know I belong here to help these students in whatever way God gives me the knowledge to do. Everyone who works here has something good to contribute to these students. I am even amazed at the things that I have learned by listening to other staff speak.

Kathy A.

Hello All,

Where can I begin?  All of you are in our hearts this Christmas for the most wonderful gift we have ever received.  Jon is doing very well and adjusting better than we could have ever hoped.  I know it is early in his transition, but he has back the old confidence and love of life I remember from years ago.  He is actively looking for a job, just passed his road test, has his schedule for school and is showing responsibility in so many different ways.  It is a total turnaround – we are so grateful.

He and John R. are together daily – right now they are at 7:30 Mass.  They are great supports for each other.  They spend a lot of time with each other’s families and are delightful to have around.

We were driving in the car the other day and I said to Jon  - life is good right now, isn’t it – and of course he answered yes.  I then asked him how long it had been since life was this good.  His reply, “Never”.

Robin and Mike – we are sorry to have missed you and did not get an opportunity to say good bye.  Back in July when Jon had “walked” you were such great support to us.  You were angels from heaven holding our hands.  At that time, through our tears, we could never imagine this day, but you were always hopeful and for all you have done we can never thank you enough.

Panava, your name comes up frequently – a particular song on the radio becomes a “Panava” song.  Your spirit and smile lights up any room.  You have always been special to Jon –tough and loving in a special way that got through to him.

Tommy, we thought we would have time to play golf and spend more time with you and Jon – where did the 18 months go?  I thought you were too tough on him in the beginning, but you knew better than us what he needed.  You are a special person to us and to him.

Myron, you have taught Jon how to be happy.  Your stories of overcoming adversities had a big impact on Jon.  You are among those he considers having had a huge influence on his behavior.

Renee, I clearly remember our last family meeting when you gave Jon advice on how to live post The Family Foundation School.  He has taken your advice and is trying hard to stay away from negative influences and not trying to “save” anyone yet.  We are here to remind him of your advice whenever necessary.

Fr. Steven – you showed him the way to his higher power.  When he speaks of this he says that Jesus Christ is his higher power.  His spirituality has been the bedrock of his renewal.  He holds his anger under control through prayer that he learned from you.  When he left for FFS he did not believe in God.  I am convinced you were sent by our Lord to redirect our son.  You are indeed a special person and Family School is blessed to have you.

This is not good bye as Dave and I plan to continue our involvement with FFS.  Iris and Jeff, you were with us in the beginning and we thank you for all your support of Jon and for us.  Please contact us as alumni parents as we would be honored to return to FFS to help out.  Also, feel free to use our names as references.  If there is anything else you need, please let us know.

I recognize that we are early in our transition journey – that there will be ups and downs.  As everyone says on 12&12, these kids have their FFS toolbox to fall back on.  I go into 2010 with optimism and positive energy.  Dave and I both learned so much through FFS – the 12 Steps, FA Meetings.  We are eternally grateful for not only the positive changes FFS has had on our son, but also the positive changes it has had on both our lives and our relationship.

With love to all of you and the rest of the outstanding staff at FFS. Have a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and blessed New Year!

Sherry and David H.

Dear Myron,

I hope that our son will grow to be more wiser and mature with age and I pray extra hard for God to give him clear guidance and wisdom every day.  I am not sure if staying longer at The Family Foundation School would have make any difference because part of it seems like an act now, but he was sincere or he seems sincere because he wants to get out.

I do want to thank you, Jan and Nancy for trying and hope that the seeds and words that you have planted in him and other lost children will ripen one day and bear good fruits.  My sincere respect and thanks to you Myron.  Your heart is in the right place and you will be blessed by it.  Please give my best regard to Jan and Nancy.  Don’t give up on these lost children.  Just keep on loving and helping them.  If you  just reach a few, it is better than none.

Once again, my upmost respect and gratitude for your sincere love to my son and others.

Peace,

S. D.

I just had an amazing meeting with a student. It’s 6:30, right before dinner and I’ve just come out of the family leaders meeting.  Panava, a senior floor person tells me there is a student who needs to see me. I’m the highest authority in the school at the moment and he needs to get something off his chest.  John, not his real name, comes into my office. He tells me about a negative contract he has with two boys from another house. He has known about them doing drugs. Details spill out from him. He smuggled in $21 when he came back from his Christmas visit. A week after he returned, he told one boy, call him Zack, who then told John, that he and another boy, Eric, were getting high on some Klonopin they had in the dorm. So, John had been carrying the secret for about a week.

I thanked John for his honesty and I asked him to tell me a little something about himself because he was not a student that I knew well. He said, very matter-of-factly, I’m a liar. I lie to my parents. I lie to everyone here staff and my friends. I lie all the time. He is calm, relaxed, he has a smile on his face.

I ask him, “Do you mean, that you’re okay with the fact that you’re a liar? Or, are you saying that you want to stop being a liar?”

“Yes, I want to stop lying. I am…”

I asked another question. “So, how long have you been working the program?”

“15 minutes about.” He says, blowing me away.

“What happened?” I said, curious look on my face.

“Okay, I better say the whole story.”

In addition to knowing about the two kids getting high in the dorm, he had had another secret. He had gotten high and smoke cigarettes on his home visit at Christmas. When he came back, he tested positive for marijuana and nicotine on his drug test but he denied it. These tests are wrong once in a blue moon. His family counselor had arranged a telephone conference with his family. They confront him.  He denies it. The family group ends. His sponsor and his junior sponsor, who had been in the family group and “knew in his gut” that John was lying, talked to him. By now both the junior sponsor and John are talking excitedly, telling me what has happened.  Clearly, both got something positive out of the experience. I am not sure what the junior sponsor said.  They referred to a couple of stories and analogies.

John continues,  “I can’t explain it, I just decided to tell the truth.”

“How does it feel?”

He said, “better, lighter. As soon as I told my sponsor that I  lied, I called my parents back.  My father was angry. Normally I would be sad.  But I felt okay.  It didn’t matter.  I was free.”

John rattled on about what was going to happen next…., “yes, I got a make amends for my brother. I have to apologize to the family. But there’s other staff I need to apologize to…”

We talked for a few more minutes, and I came home to feed the dogs. Now I’m writing this before I forget. It isn’t every day you get to witness somebody in the first 15 minutes of a new life.

There is a lot of trash being written about me, my family, and The Family Foundation School on the Internet. They twist everything we do, taking something beautiful like the encounter that I just had and they do the best they can to make it sound ugly and mean. Sobriety is so fragile. Our relationship to honesty is so fragile. A student I’ve called John is having a real moment of conversion right now here in Hancock, New York. It might not last. He might go back to being the liar he was an hour ago. But for right now, he is a fellow traveler.

~ Rita Argiros

The road which I am talking about would not have been in sight if not for The Family Foundation School. Before I came, I sought out what now seems like every form of self-sabotage. Drugs and alcohol just so happened to fall under this category. Overdose was not enough to stop, and misery only fueled the fire.

On April 26th 2007, I willingly came to FFS. One thing which stuck out to me from the start was the degree of happiness all around. Recovery for me did not start until months into my stay after I stopped lying to myself. I then realized the severity of my situation: life versus death. Once the doors of dishonesty were broken down, I was finally able to learn about myself. This, although a very painful process, has probably been what has helped me the most. Thank you John, Frank, Eric, and Chris for giving me the tools to break down the door.

I always thought that sobriety was like a fun-sucking leech. The friends that I have met at the Family School have taught me that this is not the case. Whether pulling pranks on Chris Barr in the dorm or watching Alex getting beat up by inanimate objects, I can honestly say that its been fun. Even ballet had its moments!

T. O.  Alumni, Dec. 2009